Christmas trees and an Appleseed

I missed the annual "find the perfect tree" party in Northfield. I missed the nog. I missed the knob. I missed all of you, so much. We got stuck in the snow in Wisconsin...in my Aunt Brenda's driveway. Now we are home, and we've found our little spot covered in a layer of ice. The ice is so thick atop the snow that you can walk across it without sinking in. All of the trees have a layer of ice on their south sides. This is the just the right kind of first storm. The kind that reminds you exactly what lies ahead for the next 4 months. Because, lets face it. We live in Minnesota, USA. This is how winter is supposed to be.

This is also the perfect preface to a Christmas tree party. And since we missed out yet again, I'll proabably just go to the co-op to get a tree that was grown at Oneota Slopes Farm. Delip would prefer to go to the farm on Austin where he and his dad planted hundreds of trees when he was 10 years old. I don't think he realizes that we wouldn't be able to fit any of those trees through our front door.

As for the rest of our night...I just finished baking a pan of bars to take to a potluck for the new University. Because thats what you do 'round here. And in honor of the beautiful women in my life, my line tonight will be "How 'bout a bar?"

trick or treat!

Today was Thelma's second Halloween...and her first time going trick or treating. She has been practicing all week long and had a blast
knocking on the same doors I did when I was a child. She wasn't shy at
all, and belted out her request as loud as any other kid on the block.

(I don't know how to post my videos directly to this blog yet...(HELP ME ANNE!)...so, click on trick or treat to see Thelma!)

Green Bay, Wis...

It is a tradition in our family to make an annual trip to "Title Town, USA" to cheer on the Packers. When I was a kid we didn't have enough money to actually see a game at Lambeau Field, so my dad would take us to pre-season training camp and we would wait in line for hours so my brother could get autographs of all his favorite players.



We always eat dinner at the Prime Quarter, where you choose your own steak from the fridge and then grill it yourself on huge charcoal pits.




The next morning, we wake up early to head to the parking lot adjacent to Lambeau to do some serious tail-gating. This involves drinking beer and eating brats, sauerkraut, potato salad and baked beans before 10am on a Sunday morning. My mom used to make us go to church first. Over the years I think we've been to every Catholic church in the greater Green Bay area.




Obviously, my mom has changed since I've become a responsible adult. We didn't go to church this year. Instead, my mom is doing Jello shots. I've never ever done a Jello shot. (Take note that someone is giving my dad bunny ears in this picture....)






The "Packer-lope"....(yes, those are antlers on his helmet.)







Support the Green Bay legend....donate your bra.






The polka band that tours the parking lot taking requests... My mom and I danced to "Roll out the Barrel".





Despite standing in the rain for three hours, I can honestly say that this is a tradition I will never tire of. Plus, the Packers won, 17-14! Go, Pack, Go!!!!

32786 Harrow Road

Yesterday will go down in my history book as "The day in which St Joseph and Craigslist decided to get together and work their magic..."

Last Thursday....feeling very frustrated about the lack of interest our realtor has brought to our home....I spent Thelma's entire nap time searching for St Joseph in my backyard. I buried him early in April, before our house was officially on the market...(which my mom says was my first mistake!!!) Within a week of having buried him, either Thelma or Delip pulled the stick out of the ground that was marking his location, and he has been missing ever since. Thursday was not the first search I have conducted for St. Joseph. I have spent hours on at least two other occasions searching for his 3-inch white plastic figure. Have you ever tried to dig around in your back yard? Its amazing all of the treasures that you can find....army figurines probably dating back to the 1950's....spoons with their handles bent all the way back....pieces of what was once someone's treasured china. Things left behind and probably forgotten. Every time I would hit an object with my garden spade my heart would leap with hope, and then drop with disappointment. I held my hands upon the ground and prayed to God and St Joseph and the Universe and whoever was listening to help me feel his energy so I would know where to dig. I didn't think it was working, until my shovel scraped against something that clearly sounded like white plastic! And then, there he was, in my hands. I felt like he had just been born out of my backyard at 663 Smith Ave as I vigorously rubbed the dirt off his face and feet. After a very heartfelt talk, I buried St Joseph in his new location, upside down, facing SSE in the direction of Harrow Road.

Yesterday afternoon, around 1pm, I posted an ad on Craigslist in an attempt to rent both apartments of our home. By 1:30, I had recieved the first response and my phone has been ringing ever since. We showed the apartments to three potential tenants yesterday and actually had to chose between them because all three wanted to live at 663 Smith. It was practically a bidding war. Tonight I am going to call back the other 15 inquiries to tell them the apartments are rented. We are signing leases with both tenants tonight and we have to be moved out by October 1st. Two weeks....plenty of time, right? Except that Pat and Sara are getting married on September 30, and the wedding festivities begin on the 26th....Romantica opens for Ryan Adams on the 27th....and we have no place to move. They say where there's a will, there's a way...and I have my heart set on moving to 32786 Harrow Road.

In September....Thelma will be less than 2 years old, and she is going to be a flower girl in the wedding of my cousin and Delip's brother. If you ask me, this spells "trouble" (Thelma being a flower girl, that is....not the on-going merger of our families...) We went to order her dress last Friday and she ran around the store like a crazy person....(which I'm sure I should have put an immediate stop to, but when I see her run around like that all I think is "thank God she is burning off all of that energy and might go to bed by 9pm tonight!!!")

lumpy bumpy...

Yesterday I went to the "women's center"...(which is just a nicer way of saying gynecologist)...to have a lump in my breast checked out. In addition to the thumb size lump that I had found in my left breast, Bridget Bahneman (who is, by the way, a FANTASTIC certified nurse midwife) also found a smaller one in my right breast. I can't say that I was honestly worried that I had cancer. I haven't been losing any sleep over this, but I was still releived to hear her say that they were more than likely either fibroids or cysts that show no signs of cancer. She said I just might have lumpy bumpy breasts, and that my breasts might be lumpier and bumpier at certain times of the month than at others. I am just fine with having lumpy bumpy breasts, as long as they are still in working order, but I am having an ultrasound next Friday, just to be on the safe side.

When I was 13 years old I had a lump in my neck. Little did I know that my mom was worried sick that I had a terminal illness. I had to miss a day of school to go to the doctor and when the diagnosis was a very swollen gland due to a mosquito bite on my head my mom was ecstatic. So much so that she took me shopping that afternoon for a new "outfit".

When I called my mom yesterday to tell her that I don't have breast cancer she exclaimed how happy she was that I'm not dying. We're going shopping for a new dress for me after the ultrasound on Friday.

Also relating to my breasts....one week and one day ago, I nursed Thelma to sleep for the last time. It was her 19 month birthday. So, I guess my body is my own again now, which is great. But I loved nursing her and will always treasure the memory of that experience. To celebrate, we had lobster, sweet corn, and strawberry shorcake with Jeanne, Jaena, Jonah and Beverly last night. Jeanne put a candle in Thelma's dessert and we all sang "Happy, You Drank All Your Milk Day" to the tune of Happy Birthday.

I love my life.

If Thelma wasn't a part of my life....I think I would feel like everything was at a complete standstill right now. All I can do is sit and wait. For the house to sell, for the right farm to magically appear....for my life to transform itself. Next in line to becoming a mother, this move is the greatest transformation of my life. Not because the idea of having a farm is so obscene, but just that this really is my dream about to come true. But the truth is, I have NO idea what I am doing...and I know that I have this idealistic, romanticized vision of what my life on the farm will be like. What I really want is to having something substantial to pass on to my children. I suppose this is what we all long for really....just that some people find bank accounts more valuable than dirt. But I have always been of the hands-on sort...so my kids are getting dirt. Lucky them. I wonder, will they despise me for this decision I am making? I am choosing for them a life that is so different from the one that they would lead if Delip and I chose to stay in St Paul. My guess is that at least one of them will. Maybe it will even be Thelma. And she and I will spend her young adult years and my grey-braid years trying to figure out where we both went wrong. Hey, at least I'll have my farm.

Yesterday....I became a godmother and Delip became The Godfather. The experience was quite emotional for me. I didn't feel this way at Thelma's baptism...maybe I was too sleep deprived to have noticed. But when I looked at my little brother and his beautiful wife and their new little creation, my eyes welled with tears. How did this happen? When did we grow up and become parents who have the will to have our own children baptized. And now I am a godmother. Which means that I am responsible for providing birthday gifts, and christmas presents, and birthday cards with cash inside. Oh, and his faith. Now I have taken on the responsibility of showing him what it means to love God. With Thelma...I didn't have an option. With Benji, I chose to say "yes". "Yes", I will be your godmother, and it is an honor. I just hope he understands that I definitely don't have this whole God thing figured out yet....and that it might not happen any time soon. All I can say is that I have always found comfort in the mystery of God...in knowing that God is much much bigger than anything I can conceieve. This awe is what I hope to pass on to Benjamin. May he never fail to realize the beauty of the world that God blessed us with.


Great Grandpa Darrell, Great Grandma Thelma and Thelma Catherine...




Four Generations...

crazy

Lately, there has been a lot of happiness in our family....I don't know what it is, probably the fresh spring air and blanket of green that is starting to cover our world. Spring seems to translate to happiness....and happiness to craziness. Not that Delip and Thelma haven't been running around our house crazy all winter long... but it seems to have spread to my mom, dad and my brother, Adam. Here's just a hint at how they have been acting....Thank goodness for spring.

declutter.

Last night we dropped Thelma off at my mom and dad's so we could have 2 uninterrupted hours of de-cluttering our house. We had to remove a truckload full of items that have been deemed "objects that might make our house unsellable". I can't believe we have this much stuff. STUFF. That we don't even use on a daily basis. Of course half of the truck was full of books that we dont' have shelf space for. Still, even half a truck of stuff is too much. My hope is that we can go back through it once this move is complete and maybe by then we will be able to narrow it down to a quarter truck of stuff that we simply must keep. My mom and dad have graciously offered up their THIRD garage as a storage unit, so at 10 o'clock last night, I drove the U-haul that chugs back to Hudson. Right now, it is parked outside on the street. And Thelma is running around without a shirt because she spilled water all over it at breakfast time. And I am sitting here having a cup of coffee. I don't sit and have coffee very often anymore. Usually I am running around the house, forgetting where I last set it down. On the days I actually think I need the caffeine I stand in front of my little espresso machine and do shots. I guess this is the life of a mother on the brink of picking up her whole life and moving to the country. (and working four days a week.) But this morning, I am taking a break. And as soon as Thelma's shirt dries, we are going to the park.

I'd like to buy a barn....and a creek (pronounced crik)....and a pond. a few sheep, maybe a horse. some chickens, a dog and a few cats who will have kittens in my hayloft. land where I can run free. I thought I was wanting to buy land so that my children would grow up feeling the freedom that space has to offer, but I'm realizing that's probably just an excuse to get me what I really want. I'm trying to learn that it is just fine to want things for myself. and I want this barn. A LOT. Its just a bit north of Rose Creek, Minn....about 8 miles east of Austin....and it is the barn of my dreams.

We have been working overtime in order to get our house ready to go on the market so that we can perhaps put a conditional offer on this barn, which, by the way, also includes a house with heat, running water, and a finished basement. nothing fancy. just a simple rectangular structure that would make it possible for me to wash my dishes while looking out at this barn.

Walking down St. Peter late Sunday evening....I had just left the hotel after finishing up a 3-11:30PM shift....and I don't normally enjoy working this late at all. I'm a morning person. But, the night had acutally been a busy one and went by quickly making it much more bearable. So, my spirits were high...and instead of walking out in a grumpy daze, I chose to take note of my surroundings. I looked up at the Landmark Center clock and it sparked a fantastic memory of biking downtown to get the coffee on for St. Paul. Biking was always the quickest transportation option and so I usually arrived a little early....I would lock up my bike and sit down on the wall alongside Landmark Park....eat my orange and take in the morning air. Sunday night, my car was parked directly along St. Peter and across the street from the Lawson entrance....right where I used to eat my oranges. I took a peak inside and saw Alan, the same overnight security guard that would be sitting there there when I arrived so early in the moring. I realized. Nothing has changed. Except for Thelma, Anne moving back from Iowa, Paige adopting Verla, Amanda welcoming new life....and I realized. My life is incredible. I am blessed. And I rememberd my old philosophy that I am not defined by my employment status. This re:realization renewed me. (I know....that's a lot of re.s) I got in my car and turned on the current. The perfect song was just beginning....I drove home....hit every green light perfectly. Gas at the holiday station was $2.41/gal. Not a good price, but my perfect numbers. More green lights....and the song ends just as I pull into the driveway. A perfectly orchestrated ride home. I go inside to find Delip (the nearly perfect companion) fallen asleep on the couch trying to wait up for me. My life is good.

There are no words to describe what a beautiful experience the maiden voyage was for me. I am so blessed to have such incredible women in my life...

The timing has been perfect in more than one way...recently I have given a lot of thought to what I should teach Thelma regarding her "woman parts", and at this age, verbiage is all I need to address. Yoni came into our vocabulary just when we needed it! OK, so its not quite in Thelma's vocab yet, but when I ask her where her yoni is, she knows! I am so proud.

Never mind the fact that I still can't get Yonni Meron (from my fourth grade class....he had a green mechanical pencil that he lovingly referred to as "green machine", which he was constantly swinging through the air like he just hit a grand slam, home run.) out of my head.

why do i find a meltdown so exceptionally beautiful and romantic? its not that i’m not happy with my life….i am so happy and so content. yet, it seems that i have always desired cracks….to slip through and fall until i hit rock bottom once again. dear friends….no worries. i am not currently slipping or even considering it! but, when i look at my past, this is the pattern that i see….and the low times seem to be when i felt the most inspired. when i had a muse…-noun: a source of inspiration; especially: a guiding genius. now, my life is full of laughter….Thelma’s, Delip’s, my own---and Yours. i wish the laughter was enough of a muse. i guess laughter is just laughter..and knowing how it fills my heart must make it a very good thing.

today- i was inspired by music, which is so present in my world lately. 2 songs especially- Lucy Kaplansky’s This is Home…..and Eileen Barton with the New Yorkers- If I knew you were coming I’d’ve baked a cake….which is hilarious…(therefore i guess laughter can inspire, afterall!!) you can listen to it here.. http://www.npr.org/programs/asc/current/index.html and laugh along with me if you’d like…